Connection Through Stories
Apr 28, 2025
A few months ago, my wife and I were introduced to a person that my daughter was dating. His demeanor was gentle, open, and engaging. As we listened to his story it was evident that he had worked hard in his life to achieve excellence both educationally and vocationally.
He was willing to share with us some of the challenges he had faced in the course of his life. Some of his challenges were the consequence of his own decisions, others due to factors outside his control.
It was a beautiful experience to listen to his story and feel that he is at peace with who he is and what he has accomplished so far. We were deeply impressed that he was willing to be vulnerable without embarrassment or apology. His openness and unpretentious honesty created a desire to get to know him better and build a lasting association.
As human beings, we are automatically drawn to such people through their stories as it elicits empathy and connection. Through others stories we experience commonality, we see ourselves reflected in them. The meaning we derive from stories comes from our innate yearning to better understand others, ourselves, and the world we live in.
Stories Transcend Differences
Being able to relate to someone’s story has the amazing potential to help us transcend differences, while illuminating universal truths about the human condition we all share.
Stories allows us to construct bridges between one another and create strong relationships of trust and understanding.
Through stories, we share passions, sadness, difficulties, and joys. Stories are the common ground that allow us to communicate by letting down our defenses and overcoming our differences.
Stories can nurture our understanding of the interdependent nature of life.
While we may be the central figure in our own stories, co-stars and co-contributors play an important role and are always a part of the ever-evolving nature of our life narratives.
Shared Stories Create Intimacy
Our most powerful connections in life are made through our relationships. This happens when we learn by experience to know, like and trust each other enough to share our stories.
This is intimacy!
So, if we really want to understand someone, we ask them to share their story. If we really want someone to know us, we share our story.
If we pay close attention to each other, we will learn about the life experiences that have shaped and influenced our lives, and thus what is meaningful to us, what we value, and why we make the choices we do.
Points to Ponder
We see ourselves and the world through the lens of our stories and the resulting self-narratives. As a result, we connect, identify, and understand one another through listening to and sharing our stories.
- What is your story about and what does it communicate?
- Do you know the story and self-narratives of your closest associations?
So, Now What?
- Identify someone you know whether it is a longtime relationship or a fairly new one.
- Plan to visit with them and ask if they would share their story with you including the defining moments of their life that have shaped them the most and what those events meant to them.
- Ask how those experiences fit into their larger worldview and influence their self-narrative.
- Through this experience you will come to feel a deeper connection, understanding, and gratitude for the association. Respect them, honor them, and celebrate their life with them and increase their trust by keeping their story confidential.
